Resources
Take Your Learning Further.
Thank you for reading Fearless Feedback!
The videos that follow are the ones referenced in the book. These serve as an opportunity to see how words on a page translate to human interactions.
As you watch and listen, don’t hesitate to reach out.
katie@enduranceboss.com
The New Hire Relationship Kickoff Conversation
The top reason managers hold back sharing feedback: they’re afraid of hurting the relationship.
For that reason, the New Hire Relationship Kickoff is the conversation I love for every manager to master.
This video models the Alignment portion of the New Hire Relationship Kickoff.
What you're going to see is a back and forth. It's relationship building. It's co-creating expectations and enabling alignment between a manager and their employee.
Watch for how the questions are phrased, the deep listening, the playing back of what was heard, and the commitments that are made.
Pay special attention between 9:40-12:10 in how the manager asks about the team member's prior experience with upward feedback.
This is not the entire New Hire Relationship Kickoff Conversation. The full conversation includes four areas of exploration:
● Personal
● Professional
● Alignment
● Aspirations
To access sample questions for all 4 topics covered in this conversation, leverage this free resource.
One way to strengthen our feedback delivery skills is to know what not to do.
This quick video illustrates why so many people have had negative experiences receiving feedback.
It’s likely that the manager would walk away from the interaction feeling like she’d done well, she’d shared the feedback that needed to be shared.
But how do you think the team member is feeling walking away? Take a watch and you make your determination.
Here are 5 callouts for why this isn’t how managers should have feedback conversations:
Delivers the feedback as something the manager has noticed, but also some people on the team have brought up. This will make someone feel as though the team is talking about them, creating a wedge within the team and increasing the probability they will react in a defensive way.
Feedback should be conveyed as an observation, not a subjective feeling. By saying, "I feel like you've been really defensive," you are likely to spark more defensiveness. Instead, a great manager will say something like, "I've noticed defensiveness comes up when..." It's a lot harder to push back against an observation than a feeling.
Patrick makes a pretty clear face when he hears the feedback, one can only imagine how he's actually feeling inside. A great manager would see the reaction and appropriately explore how they're feeling so they're ensuring trust and safety within the conversation.
Feedback without action is simply criticism. This manager does not shift into coaching mode to help co-create actions the person can take to make progress in this area. The manager is defaulting to, "it would be great if you could..." That is not helpful nor does it result in this feedback being received in a way that the employee would feel it's been a valuable moment of growth and development.
The manager misses a huge opportunity to engage the team member at the end. He says, "well, should I just not talk during meetings." The manager responds by telling him that he should still chime in, but what she doesn't do is see that statement as a signal that this person is feeling attacked and that this conversation is putting them on the path of disengagement.
Delivering Feedback—What Not To Do
Modeling of Headline, Observation, Ask
You’ve read the words on the page, now let’s bring Headline, Observation, Ask to life.
This video showcases a conversation with a remote employee and shares an observation of defensiveness.
As you watch this conversation, notice how it becomes a generative, collaborative conversation.
Notice the exploration and how the manager helps her team member create self-awareness.
Then you're going to see how they shift into action identification. Feedback without action is simply criticism. When the manager and team member can co-create action steps, that's where feedback feels like an investment in growth, development, and performance.
Modeling of Handling Reactions with HEAR
This video models Headline, Observation, Ask and the use of the HEAR framework when a reaction enters into the interaction.
Reactions are speed bumps on your journey to an effective feedback conversation.
Just like a real speed bump on the road, you want to slow down, travel across intentionally, and then speed back up.
That’s what you’re doing here.
Notice how the feedback is positioned, the phrases the manager uses to ensure trust and safety remain within the space, and how actions are generated.
Also take note when the manager calls out the development opportunity related to handling misalignment with priorities. Feedback is a core tool for performance management, career development, and employee retention. This conversation models how a manager can achieve all of these in the span of a short interaction.
Bring Fearless Feedback to Life with Live Training
Take learning and career growth to the next level by moving these concepts from words on a page to hands-on, real practice.
Each quarter, Katie leads her 3-part Fearless Feedback Mastery course on Maven. Individuals can register below for the next available cohort.
Companies and organizations can leverage custom solutions by booking time to explore.